The New General Lee, Safe For Everyone!

It’s official: If you liked the old Dukes of Hazzard or the General Lee, you’re evil. The executives at TV Land and the media have told us how to think, so get with the program and embrace the new reality in which life is all rainbows and unicorns. If something contains an image that might offend, even if it’s a fictional show about rednecks running from a bumbling sheriff, it must be banned! But don’t expect a revival of public book burnings (or DVD burnings) anytime soon, because that would not be good for environmental air quality. Instead, we predict that large, industrial shredders will be the new way to stage large, public thought cleansing. (You may want to consider investing in shredder manufacturers.) In our efforts to obey the thought police, we’ve come up with a proper, updated version of the General Lee, called the Generally PC. You can’t see in the photo, but the roof is now covered with a big, “COEXIST” logo.

Also, the lyrics of the theme song have been updated for 2015:

Just the good little boys
Never meanin’ to offend
Beats all you never saw
Doin’ nothin unsafe
Since the day they was born

Preaching on facebook
Such a total buzzkill
Someday their lameness might get ‘em
But original thoughts never will

Makin’ their way
The only way they know how
That’s just a little more boring
Than your stomach will allow

Just them good little lemmings
Wouldn’t change unless popular opinion suggested they do so
Goin’ along the system
Like a true modern day Neville Chamberlain